Once upon a time the mother of the garden planted a narcissis bulb under a shady bush in sandy soil. The plant had to fight for every nutrient and ray of sunshine from the weeds it was growing with who were hardier to the environment. One day the little plant decided to fill its head with nothing but survival tactics. So it pushed its roots deep and stretched its head straight up to the sun. He decided if he took all of the nutrients and the weeds didnt make it it wasn’t his fault.
So when the mother saw the strength of the little plant, she decided that he was special and told him so. She then transplanted him to the soil rich, sunny, patch where the beautiful flowers grew. He was planted next to a lily-of-the-valley who he thought was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her bright, white blooms and fragrance were intoxicating.
Before she knew what had happened he had intertwined his roots with her and told her daily how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to be with her. They spent their days soaking up the sunshine and the warm rain. The narcissis told the lily how he had to fight growing up because their mother neglected him and how he had to fight the weeds to get where he was. The lily thought he was very brave to have sur-vived and she told him this every day and how lucky she was to be with him.
Then one day the mother planted a beautiful purple and yellow pansy on the other side of him and he gradually entwined his roots with the pansy except for one spindly root and stopped talking to her. He then intertwined with the pansy and gave her all his attention. The lily asked what she had done to lose his affections but was only answered with silence.
The lily cried at night over his lost affections and tried to loose that last root he held to her with but she couldn’t do it. The narcissis would ask her a question once in a while to keep her engaged but kept his hold on the pansy as his main source who told him the same things the lily once had. Then the mother planted a pink stripped petunia behind him and he turned his affections to her keeping one root entwined with the pansy and one with the lily refusing to let either one completely go.
This is the way the narcissist treats his relationships. Whether you identify with the narcissist or as an abuse survivor. Stay tuned to find out what makes a narcissist act the way he or she does and makes an abuse victim trauma bonded with him or her.