“Don’t be the next victim by rescuing everyone that seems to be drowning. Some aren’t drowning, they’re plotting!” I dont know who to attribute this quote to but it certainly pertains to the narc who is gaslighting his or her victim. The term gaslighting comes from the 1944 movie “Gaslight” in which a husband tries to convince his wife that she is insane causing her to question her reality.
A narc gaslights his or her victim in order to brainwash, use mind control, and inflict emotional abuse upon them. They will lie, deny, attack what is dear to you, make snide comments to wear you down, and while you are busy defending yourself it distracts from the narcs behavior. An example of this is my being depressed and in order to keep from getting raged at I just stayed silent.
My narc then called me a “pouting cunt” and then put my mother down by calling her “retarded”. Something he had said repeatedly because he disagreed with a decision she made regarding my brother. They will try to turn people against you by lying about you so that other people won’t believe you. The narc tells everyone that you are the liar.
The narc knows that confusion weakens people and he or she is a master of confusion. They will tell you that something happened that you know didn’t or tell you that something didn’t happen that you know did. For example: one of my narc relationships told his therapist while I was present, that I cut a car off causing the driver to jump the curb, run in someone’s yard, and crash into a light pole. That was no more true than me pulling a gun on him.
He told the therapist that he remembered exactly which yard it was so when I told him to take me there so that I could ask the homeowner he stated he would. However, when we left the therapist’s office he denied saying he knew where exactly it happened. The narcs actions often don’t match his or her words. They will often try to isolate you and project on you confusing you to the point that you question if something really happened or not. They are psychological bullies who often lie so much they believe their own lies.