As I said before it doesnt have to be a punch to be abuse. Psychological abuse is just as bad if not worse. Bruises and bumps heal but words are never forgotten. My narc tells me that my memory is poor. Is it any wonder? I barely know what day it is because I never know what is going to set him off! Today it was a doctor’s appointment. My doctor asked him to leave the room because he tells the doctor more than I do.
The doctor called him abrasive and over bearing when he left and said that I acted like a woman with “battered woman syndrome.” He has never hit me but calls me names like “cunt” and tells me he has never had a woman who acts like me. He tells me he can’t stand looking at me but when I leave he follows me yelling. His last girlfriend before me of 5 months didn’t want to be bossed and left and he said she had been single too long and wasn’t “relationship material.” Yet when she calls he leaves where I can’t hear the conversation.
His longtime girlfriend of 9 years who was 12 years older than him left with the clothes on her back, a couple of suitcases, and a couple of boxes and went total no contact across the country. He gets mad when I cry or stay quiet so that I don’t say anything wrong. He called me a “pussy” for not standing up to my doctor for him. Whatever I do is wrong. He listens to every phone conversation and doesn’t want me to talk to friends or family.
“Why do you stay?” You ask. Because he’s not my first narc but is definitely the worst. After awhile one gets used to it. He told me a few weeks ago that he had talked to my doctor on the phone and that the doctor told him he had to get me to lose weight. When I asked the doctor about it today he denied it. Then when I confronted my narc it was the nurse he talked to.
I beg of you that if you see red flags at the beginning of a relationship pay attention! I know I’m being devalued right now and it probably won’t be long before I’m dumped. I left my daughter and grandchildren to go live in another state with him and he has drained my finances. If he dumps me I will have no money to move back. I dont want sympathy. I want to warn others of the pitfalls of narcissism. Don’t believe a word of what he or she says as they are inveterate liars and flat evil. In my next writing we will discuss the process of devaluation.