Living with a narc is like living with Satan himself sometimes. His or her biggest fear is loss of control. They will bully you until they have control of every aspect of your life. What you wear, the length and color of your hair, they compare your looks attributes to others and shame you for being too fat/thin, not going to the gym, etc.
They are life force draining. The rules change daily. They are immature and ungrateful. Mood swings are common as are explosive anger episodes over nothing. They are thief’s, liars, want total control over your finances, where you go, who you see, even your own family.
He or she focus on superficial traits such as size and shape of penis or breasts. Always saying something like “Look at that guys penis, its crooked and tiny. Mine is big and straight.” No matter what you do for him or her they are ungrateful.
They live in the past. Mine had a million dollar business that he lost because he wasn’t paying attention to what his partners were doing and they all got felonies out of it. He still tries to live off of my money as if he were still rich. He has delusions of grandeur and if I say anything he gets furious. Narcs are almost like someone with bipolar disorder with their extreme mood swings between highs and lows.
He wants everything done “right now!” If I’m on my phone he wants me to put it down because I’m not paying attention to him. He picks where and what we eat, what we do, who we see. All his therapy sessions are about what I do wrong and bothers him. “I can’t drive, speak for myself, make myself understood, or anything.” Funny since I’ve always held professional Social Work positions where I spoke in person to people and on the phone including doctors and other professionals all day.
I am working in people’s homes at this time and enjoying being on my own. I am working on my self esteem and setting stronger boundaries. If a relationship seems like too much too fast, look for other red flags also. As in real estate it can also be in relationships, “buyer beware.” Love and light.