Sigmund Freud coined the term “projection.” It is the narcissists accusations about you that he or she feels about him or herself. Anyone living through projections are made to feel crazy and question their own sanity. It can make you physically sick feeling as if you are walking on eggshells.
You will be heartbroken and often shocked sometimes. Enraged at the accusations. One has to accept that the narc is not “wired” normally and that the relationship will never be healthy. It’s never been about you but the narc. He or she when threatened, will call you things that they are.
The narc will stalk, slander, and call it self defense. He or she pretends to be experts on everything. They try to bullshit his or her way through most subjects. In a relationship they have to be the center of your universe. Playing that card to control you.
I am called “selfish” a lot. But I am actually one of the most unselfish people one would ever meet. When the narc projects he or she is actually talking into a mirror but looking at you. The person who you thought loved you becomes your worst nightmare. The treatment of you is inhumane. You are called “selfish, lazy,” and anything else he or she actually is. His or her ego will not allow the narc to think that of themselves so they project it onto you.
Sometimes you are blown away by the accusations. You are stunned, hurt, and angry. He or she will build up past accomplishments and flat out tell lies in front of you that you know are not true. But you had better not correct him or her. Their reality is lies. The narc won’t take responsibility for his or her projections so they have to go somewhere and that is on you.
Normal people accept being wrong. However, narcs can’t say that or “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” Its a defense mechanism so you become the bad person. He or she uses any method to project. Distorting, fabricating, flat out lying, exaggerating, quoting others, which is often made up. He or she then denies it all.
The narc looks for empathetic, loving, high functioning people who have all the abilities he or she lacks. The fuel supply usually has a high IQ also. You need to know that his or her projections aren’t the truth. Walk away and say: “This is not about me!” DO NOT take the bait! Don’t try to defend yourself! Don’t explain or project back. Remove yourself from the situation and leave!
“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart. And all they can do is blankly stare.”______F. Scott Fitzgerald