The Narc Discard

The discard can begin as soon as the love bombing begins. If you, the supply, discards first, the narc may stalk or harass you. But be assured that he or she already have back-up supplies waiting in the wings. He or she was grooming these supplies before you left because he or she can’t be alone. However, they are pissed because you beat them to the punch.

He or she may have been blindsided by your leaving. A normal partner may be hurt by a breakup if sudden and he or she didn’t want it. But they will understand if you are unhappy. A narc, however, will fly into a rage and see it as abandonment. If the supply leaves, it takes power away from the narc. How dare you leave when the narc sees you as his or her property?

You have the right to live your life free from abuse but the narc loses their power over you. Even though they have back-up supplies to suck dry, you were his or her main source and that enrages the narc. They may threaten, stalk, or love bomb you. Abuse is about power and control. The narc may stalk you on social media or open new gmail accounts to threaten you. It is wise to change your telephone number also.

When he or she discards you, it doesn’t mean forever. Supplies are interchangeable for a narcissist. They need supplies for what each does for him or her. When a narc has used up a main supply, he or she may recycle an old one or find a new one. He or she imagines that they are in love with you but they don’t know how to love. They only love how you make them feel.

They want everyone to see you as the perfect couple. Once things are less than perfect, they leave you suddenly for a new supply that they have been grooming all along. It’s always your fault because the narc can’t take blame.

From the beginning it’s a tragic love story that is doomed. His or her history is full of relationships and engagements that are usually based on looks, money, or sex. When the discard happens you have to decide if the abuse and misery the narc puts you through is worth taking him or her back,

“Bored” is a word one hears often from a narc. “I’m bored. You’re boring, I had more fun with my ex!” The growing indifference to you. The insults, rages, less attention, his or her wanting time away from you all have you confused and feeling on the brink of insanity. What did you do? You went from love bombing to devaluation, to discard like a worn out toy.

In being with a narc, never focus on words but rather on actions. Remember that narcissists seldom tell the truth. His or her reality is based on lies. They will accuse you of things that they are doing to you. He or she will rage at you, leave you, then call or message you as if nothing happened.

Don’t EVER expect closure from a narc. If you ask uncomfortable questions you get the silent treatment. Narcs aren’t “lost souls .” Everything that he or she does is deliberate. Do not try to keep in touch with the narcissist. If he or she contacts you, it is up to you as to whether or not you want to get tangled up in that web again in a relationship of control, manipulation, lies, abuse, rages, and insanity. Love and light.

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I am a published author on dementia and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. This site is designed to help you identify narcissists and their trademarks and the pitfalls to avoid.

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