Nnarcissistic Supply

Narcissistic supply is the narcs drug. A pain pill if you will. Bad or good, what matters is that the supply brings adulation that is reliable and constant. Without the supply source who proides the attention, love, and approval, and will do what the narc says, all is well.

Without the supply the narc dries up. His or her ego depends on them. They cannot be alone. A narc will perceive to be independent but without a supply, he or she is incomplete. One narc relationship I was in when his supply before me left he was so devastated according to him that he didn’t date for seven years. Now I don’t know if I believe that because he is a sex addict. So I doubted it.

Any sign of independence from the source enrages them. I had to text him multiple times daily from work to check in. I had poor health yet he sat home while I worked. The fiancee who left him made up ridiculous lies to bolster her ego that everyone knew were fabrications and laughed at her behind her back. He found them innocent and entertaining. What it did was make him look stupid for being with a pathological liar.

She said she rode on the back of a rock stars motorcycle up and down the hall in a Vegas hotel and picked 728 tomatoes off of one vine. Just to name a few. Eventually he or she becomes bored. Thats a word I heard a lot. “I was boring, life was boring, the game was boring”. Then comes the devalue phase. This is where the narc kills the supply dead without remorse. After an intimate relationship the narc dismisses the supply as he or she has decided this supply has reached an end. So the supply is tossed like garbage.

He or she then moves to a new supply. The narc becomes bored again and the cycle restarts. There is a primary source and a secondary source. There are two cycles narcs go through. The first is euphoria and the second is depression which creates anxiety. When my narc was in this phase he would rage. He would threaten to dump me and get someone new. He then would turn to his gambling addiction and lose money we didn’t have. He defended this by saying that was the only time he had fun and wasn’t bored. Leaving me to stress about how to make it up.

This was his way of destroying my life. But it was all about him and his fun. Narcs have addictions to escape him or herself because they are immature and have to be constantly the center of attention. They are not mature enough to love, tell the truth, or be loyal.

The narc’s inner self is damaged. Wounds that haven’t healed. He or she is starving spiritually. To them, people are objects to be controlled and manipulated like toys. It’s always someone elses fault. Love and light.