When dealing with narcs the game of the hour is blame. Mine blamed me for having to quit his job to take care of me after double foot surgery but he told everybody else it was because of stomach issues that caused uncontrollable diarreah. Once again I was to blame.
He blames me for falling in love too easily and i should have left both marriages before I did. He only knows about my marriages what I choose to tell him. But since he knows everything, he blames me for staying too long in each.
He blames me for not knowing something he’s been sitting and thinking about. Then he comes out with something and I don’t know what he’s talking about, I’m stupid and get yelled at and called retarded. The narc blame shifts to get you to react so they can rage about something.
Don’t feed into it! Walk away! The more you try to argue back, the more you fuel the rage. My experience is that all narcs are psychopaths. You feel on edge around them. Even if they’re your parents or children. They sabotage your self esteem and laugh about it and blame you for it.
He or she compares you to others in their lives and when things are good they tell you. When things are bad, they blame you. They lie and blame you for having to. You are always snooping to find the truth. Looking through phones, purses, wallets and if they catch you, they blame you because “you’re jealous.” But you have good reason to snoop.
They blame you for feelings that he or she provokes. They dwell on your mistakes but somebody else, usually you for theirs. There are a lot of crazy people and “losers” in his or her life. Everybody is a “loser”. They frequently comment on how you look and blame you if it doesn’t suit them.
He or she denies their manipulative behavior and will deny it and blame someone else if brought up. They expect you to read their minds. Mine tells me I can work extra hours. Then when I do he says: “Well I wanted to go out of town you should have asked me.” So I cancel the shift and we go nowhere. Again, I’m to blame.
After a relationship with a narc or a psychopath you will feel depressed, insane, drained, and your life will be in tatters. I have a close family member who is a narc and mentally ill but denies it. I raised her and her diagnosis is bipolar. Everything is my fault.
I was accused of drugging her instead of calling her out on her bullshit. Not true. She took an antidepressant. She told me for years she couldn’t get pregnant. Now that she is, she said she never said that and she was just on birth control for 20 years. So once again I’m a whipping boy. Love and light friends.